blocked. no, not blocked ... beleagured

But hey, look. I'm fucking prolific. I think I might just break last years record of 26 posts. An accomplishment I don't think I will be brandishing too conspicuously. This blog in and of itself is a pitiful testament to the lack of humanity I have come to accept as my lot. I was empty but now I am seemingly only full of less than positive things to say. So who's to say I am better off or not.

I lost my keys today and I cried. It is no secret that crying is a daily activity for me. But the keys really got to me. I went to a lunar eclipse party the other night on the winter solstice and it was miraculous and mystifying. I felt so much and so little staring up at the color-shifting night sentinel. I was very aware of the Earth and the Sun and the power of planets. I felt moved and movement. I felt the order or things. Many people in my life refer to the Universe in similar terms to the way people who claim to be theists refer to God as someone upstairs liking them. These people in my life will say things like the Universe really has my back. After losing my keys for absolutely no discernible reason and in an extremely brief amount of time I cursed the Universe for having the back of those who are in much less turmoil than I currently find myself and instead merely shitting upon my shitty situation. The connection was lost and I feel heavy-laden. Jesus Christ, unhand your light yoke. I am crushed and abandoned.