*a colossal waste of time (maybe)
*training completed and two days of comparably successful days without the hedge of a monitor praising my correctly executed duties and admonishing and explaining my shortcomings (although I did not have a formal invigilator those two days the rest of the kitchen staff were keen on stepping in and correcting my steps when I would misstep or would find myself out of my depth in any of the numerous ways available to me to do so)
*the waste of time seemed like it couldn't be helped
*I have told people I do not have the requisite credentials to have been offered this job at the restaurant
*I couldn't sleep perhaps because of the nap I took or because I was so caught up in the engrossing narrative of Breaking Bad that there seemed no compelling reason to halt
*I believe I have told people there is no surface reason I should have been offered this position in order to persuade them that I am employed in a more creative and enticing occupation than I actually am
*it didn't hit me that I had spent far more time watching 48 min. episodes of a TV show back-to-back-to-back than was reasonable when the black sky became a deep, morning blue-green
*in proffering up this exaggeration I have disguised myself as a modest vegan cook while my conscience belies my actual state - an insecure sycophant who is given much yet ungratefully desires more, on principle
*my ears kept popping as though I were changing altitudes and I did not know that I was watching the show at a volume grossly inappropriate for 3 a.m. until a neighbor rang the doorbell
*the position I hold in the kitchen is a challenging one, to be sure, but it is not as glamorous as the one I have wittingly expanded it into with slight manipulations of descriptions of my duties I give to people who want success for me and whom I do not want to disappoint
*at first I did not know it was my doorbell because I have only lived here for a little less than two months and I have not heard the bell before but I did turn down the stereo to be able to her the buzz of the bell better so I could figure out what it was exactly and as I did this the intermittent bell ceased buzzing and I understood what happened
*in very flimsy defense of myself, the job I do actually hold is quite difficult to describe because the structure of this kitchen is very different than nearly any other comparable restaurant and my position does not exist in those other kitchens, yet I took this more as an opportunity to cloud my friends' and family's perception of what I did so as to appear more prosperous than an accurate explication might not convey and in doing this I, effectively, rob myself and my loved ones the true joy of celebrating something that actually is and actually is good in myriad ways on its own merits but now seems tarnished in the yellow, caustic light of my fabrication
*it was over ninety degrees in my apartment most of the night last night as I watched Breaking Bad and lounged on the sofa in my underwear and after throwing on a couple pieces of clothing so I could go to the door and apologize and give a face to the explosions and screaming my neighbors must have heard through the walls; no one was at the door and when I stripped back down to stay cool I put in earbuds and began a new episode, the tenth of the night, and I felt ashamed

*watched Sherman's March with John
*there is a shot of a statue of Sherman on a horse trailing after a figure referred to as "winged victory" and the director, Ross Elwee, does a voice over quoting Sherman as saying, "I suppose we know what it means to be war famous now. It means you die on a battlefield and have your name spelled wrong in the paper."
*John made vegan brownies (thanks John)