Monday, October 26, 2009

a dream upon waking

I wish to extend the content of my last entry. I was considering the ways in which I view my job in contrast to the prattling Kinko's employee or my crass supervisor. I think we all see our job as just that - a task to be done. I suppose the biggest departure in our understanding of our job is our duty. What is our relationship to our occupation as compared to our relationship to everything else in our life?


It seems to me that during my parents' and their parents' lives a person's job was mere occupation. The notion of a calling in regard to work was reserved for missionaries, families with a long history of doctors or lawyers, or people involved in a family business. A person had a job and worked because that was what one did. There was no room for personal ambition or fulfilment of desire because the practicum of the day-in-day-out had such a bloated importance. And I use the word bloated in the most reverent of manners.

My brother-in-law recently wrote about a lady who wrote a book about young people's collective and individual narcissistic entitlement frenzy especially as it relates to assumptions concerning degrees and subsequent careers. I can attest to the clear idealism that pervades the upper-middle class young Americans these days. I am just as guilty of the most disgustingly under-deserved self-important visions of grandeur as the next literate, laptop equipped youngster. And like the others I usually don't have the maturation of mind to understand it was all but a dream. Most white kids my age in America have it pretty good. There is great luxury in the very visible safety nets we hedge all of our bets on. In most cases our parents or our ruddy good looks and cleverness (or a strange combination of the two) will be our bail out. We can't lose.

I think it must also be stated that the rules and therefore the expectations have changed in the decades since our mommies and daddies were home bacon bringers. The new young professional is the upwardly mobile standard and an aspiration that seems crucial to all of us who not only want to take home a paycheck but also dignity. It does not feel like enough to come home around five thirty in the afternoon with head held high because a full-day's work was put in at the ol' office. It does not feel like enough because of what I was perplexed about in my last entry. What is a full-day's work anymore? When am I allowed to be satisfied? A person is confronted with the option of being their job or being very little. Many of my friends have jobs and have "side projects." These appear to be hobbies but a slightly closer look reveals them to be entreprenurial strivings. Small businesses are the new quilting bees. These are the ways we get involved with our neighbors and invest in our community. And not to mention move on that hope that the thing we love to do may be the thing we make big bucks doing. It seems this is the only way to get gratification from one's job and in this economy to just get by. I believe that is also why so many people are going to work for non-profits. Perhaps it is to prove that you can do what you love without being motivated by money alone (although CEO's of most non-profits make a pretty fantastic living).

We are a disappointed and disappointing people. Because we choose this pursuit of a "birthright as means of job satisfaction." As the middle class it sure seems as though that is what we are charged with seeking out - that sole occupation we can fill. We will know it when we see it, nay feel it. It is supposed to seek me out, I think. It is actually difficult to say. I know I may not have a place in the sun but I certainly have one out there somewhere. A progressive architecture firm dying for my copy writing skills. That must be it.

I think it is good that we have high expectations from within and without. Hopefully the dream lasts long enough so that when we fail we still have enough hope juice to strive towards the next impossibility.

brandonpiercegeary

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I should be sleeping like a log

"I refuse to do anything work-related when I am off the clock." Someone in a sales and customer service training session at FedEx Kinko's once barked this out after being given a scenario where an opportunity to endorse a product arose outside of work and it knocked the wind out of the training manager. The manager told the story of this uncooperative employee with a tremendously angry scowl to the group I was in during one of my training sessions. I understood her anger and I shook my head, distastefully looking at the conference table and making a far deeper frown than was merited or that I felt. Even though the manager had my sympathies I could not help but mostly side with the rogue.

Where do my loyalties lie? Does my every waking moment belong to my employer? Not hardly.

I have had a similar quandary at my current place of business. My bosses are very strongly encouraging us to utilize our social networking sites to the advantage of the company. In truth, I am not that concerned that I would not be compensated for posting 140 characters about a sale or promotional push. I am more disquieted by the dishonesty. I, like most people I presume, only bring up my work if it is pertinent to a situation. If someone is having a problem finding a new pair of pants that fit the way they would like then I would be remiss if I did not suggest they look at the place I work. But then again I would also suggest they look at a couple of other places because my primary care is that my friend find decent pants and not that my company make money by hawking a less-perfect product. But sneak attack an advertisement with blatant intentions just feels two-faced. I have never promoted anything on my sites before, usually including my bands which I am fully committed to and deeply invested in, so why would I blithely remark about a 50% off womens sale? I don't enjoy partaking in self-promotion and I don't appreciate being used for commercial promotion.

It seems to me that this is a matter of boundaries. One of my former supervisors once told me during one of his more practical rants (he was given to vehement, nonsensical diatribes about bus drivers, fedoras, and the evils of noise music) that the advent of the mobile phone broke down all previously constructed walls between work and home. "Now you're always on the clock! Your boss has something to say to you they don't wait until you come to work, they call you up. How do you escape? You don't. And they fucking got you. And it ain't the money, man. Fuck money. It's the personal freedom. Don't tread on my goddamn freedom."

I understood him and I was afraid. I decided I never wanted to be salaried. Then they really have you. You could work a back-breaking 50-60 hour week and make a measly 40-hour week paycheck. There is no justice.

I would love to sit down at a desk at nine in the morning then pick up my blazer from my chair at five in the afternoon and pass the threshold, the line that must be crossed to make it understood that I am no longer at work - I am home.

It seems more people are desiring to go into fields where they can feasibly work from home. These people are either very clever or have no self respect and no sense boundaries. Hopefully someday I will become one of these people and when that time comes I pray to be self aware enough to report which of those things I am.

brandonpiercegeary

kin

I burnt my hand quite badly and also made a delicious potato onion thing. This was the first proper injury and meal in our new home. We now live on Nicholas Street and have all the conveniences of a quaint, one-bedroom apartment of the 1950's. I haven't used this sort of gas oven for a few years and I forgot about the pilot light underneath. I had stored some of our plastic pot covers under there and now they are the consistency of Vermont maple syrup. Before it cooled down in our sink anyway. When I had reached beneath the oven to retrieve a lid for the pot I was cooking some green beans in I touched something metal and much too hot to be touching. I have a nice scar on my right, ring finger knuckle and about an inch above my wrist on the back side of my hand. This is actually the exact place on Melissa's hand where a ganglion cyst has been disappearing and reappearing for a couple years now. I feel a new level of affinity to her. We are misshapen and pained by our cursed spot. We are Lady Macbeth. We have secrets. We are kindred and we most certainly have each other for sharing.

brandonpiercegeary