in the same house

I had grand plans/illusions to drive to a semi-remote place with trees and perhaps a bit of grass poking through the snow. I would arrive around five o'clock slip into the back of my car where I have the seat down and turn on NPR because at five o'clock they played an episode of American Routes featuring John Prine. John Prine always reminds me of my dad. Not necessarily the man's particulars but my father introduced me to his music and I was stymied by my lack of knowledge of someone who was so terrific and had been directly under my nose, living in the same house even (his records anyway). Perhaps that is actually the similarity I find between my dad and John. I remember telling one of my roommates in college how fascinated I was with my dad. I was going to write him a letter while I listened to the radio show. I will write him later this week.

brandonpiercegeary

Pretty Music

I just think that Melissa and I are the kind of people who find a Susan Minot film like Evening a silly, little movie and categorically despise a Nancy Meyers and Scott Rudin flick like It's Complicated. Meryll Streep is in both. We also say things like, "Ooo, I like this already," on the title menu of a DVD because of pretty music.

tiny kingdoms

I honestly thought this could be the end. Ordinary life is a struggle I clearly am not equipped to struggle through.

I interviewed today for a higher position at the company I currently work for. This was my second interview and, to my knowledge, the one that really seals the deal. I am not sure what it was. Probably knowing what was at stake if I blew the interview. But I didn't keep my cool. I stammered and shook and went on and on about nothing. I prepared excessively and I truly believe I choked.

When I returned home I nearly passed out. I had indeed worried myself sick. I had put all my eggs in this basket and the thought of not accomplishing this made my head ache feverishly and my body swoon. I laid in bed drowning my cold sweat and my mom called. She was actually a wonderful respite. I was still shaking though. I couldn't get over the thought that I had thrown my immediate future completely away because I didn't control my nerves.

Eventually I realized that the whole deal was completely out of my hands now and I needed to engage in something therapeutic. I cooked the brussels sprouts I had bought to experiment with. I didn't actually experiment too heavily. I read some websites about how to cook them and then I boiled them. I put some left over Taco Bell fire sauce on them and they were delicious and my fears were subsided.

I then wanted to land the crushing blow. I looked around the bedroom for something I could accomplish that would put my gut at ease. I was on my laptop so the missing "h" key was a glaring problem that needed solving. Two of the little pieces including the key itself had popped off a couple days ago and were lying somewhere on the floor beside the bed. I quickly got my wits about me and found the two pieces, tiny as they are. Sparing the needless details, I put the key back in its proper place I could have sworn I heard a tiny kingdom of my loyal subjects feasting and celebrating with the utmost jocundity at this truly remarkable success.

I feel much better now.

brandonpiercegeary