splendid

The first time I heard about "American Splendor" was when my older brother rented the dvd. I picked up the case and I scowled at it. I couldn't see how a movie about a depressing underground comic writer could possibly keep my socially floundering brother from sliding closer to his impending lackluster life. That was all I wanted for him then. I wanted him to be happy and happy with other people. Harvey Pekar, the focus of "American Splendor" did not seem to be the sort of role model I was hoping my older brother would choose. I also knew nothing abou underground comics and figured they must be more akin to porn than anything else and my disdain was sealed.

My brother would often watch movies alone in the basement in the dark. At the time I wasn't too hurt he never invited me but thinking about it now it really would have been nice just to be asked. Eventually his lone movie watching turned into lone beer drinking in the dark. My brother continually took on Harvey's likeness as he drooped and sagged inside and out. I knew nothing about the movie or the man but I hated them both. In all honesty, I really thought this movie was another nail in my brother's coffin. He would never do anything with his intelligence or creativity if he idolized twice-divorced file clerks with gnarled teeth, jowels, a large stomach and man boobs.

A couple years ago my friend Jeff showed me his comics collection and let me borrow all of the graphic novels he had by Jeffery Brown and one called "Blankets" by Craig Thompson. These autobiographical revelations made comics more important to me than they were even when I was an avid collector as a child. Ever since I have been enamored with the underground comic "scene." Now that I knew about this world it was inevitable that I would come across Harvey Pekar. "American Splendor" was an tremendous acheivement in comics because it was crass, depressing, coarse and true. When I learned about all this I felt a wave of embarrassment because I knew I had shunned something that could have opened up a glorious new world of art that I had to wait several years to come into.

Perhaps I was not ready. I was very sunny as a high schooler and I wasn't quite into irony.

I watched the movie tonight. I cannot remember the last time I have felt so inspired. Seek out the comics and also the movie. Could change your perspective if you let it. I am glad I saw it so young.

brandonpiercegeary

compulsive

I would like to be obsessive but I am far, far too lazy. I am battling this, however. Even now. Look how late it is in my time zone. I have to be out west at 9 am tomorrow. That is much less sleep than I am accustomed to. I am spending more hours awake and thus doing more. At this fertile time in my life more is more. I did take a nap earlier so that was a couple hours out of my "doing" time but I am making up for that right now by doing so much I can hardly stand it. I am researching for an album review that I have not yet received the green light for but I don't need to be told when to do and how anymore. I am just up and away. I am doing. I am go. I am awake and it is midnight and I feel terrific. A sleeping cat in my arms and I can still type away. I have it all under control. Battling that laziness never felt more like accomplishment. I am making lists and following through. I suddenly feel a real jolt of the importance of what I am doing. Perhaps my first notion was hasty. I am on fire.

I am going to bed to be with my wife.

brandonpiercegeary