I took my good friend, Tim, on a date tonight.
A person can say things in an inward only manner. Speech from the heart. Speaking only by means of not speaking but knowing and existing in. Perhaps if she never said it in her heart nothing ever happened. But then it was a sham and I have been fending off that notion so I don't want to invite it as a possibility. Real is only barely relative but I know there were aspects that must have been real concerning the last five years. I refuse to engage the thoughts that keep hounding me saying I made a nearly unforgivable mistake and my doom is loneliness as retribution.
Maybe it was easy because it never was.
Nothing is simple now and I am rebuilding all of it. I know I am young but I had such a structure.
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