Do they beat the drum to get you back home or do they beat it to keep you away

I have spent the last two and a half months crying instead of sleeping. Drinking coffee to gain the energy to smile. Spending time with people only because to be alone is to be engulfed in flames.

When we were eating some sort of enchiladas on Pier 30-something right next to the water I should have thrown myself over the edge and ended your misery and put out my impending fire.

I refuse to be someone else's experimental life experience. I will be cherished.