unavoidable obviousness

I finally saw 127 Hours tonight. Good God that movie was relentlessly enthralling. My wonderful friend, Rachel, joined me. Immediately, once the movie ended, I turned to her and told her I have not felt such a affinity for other movie viewers I have been in a theater with in a very, very long time.

Terrific feeling. Terrific to feel at all. I must admit my time in Ohio was not the most sensational as far as being emotional tactile. My family and friends did a mighty job attempting to draw me out and provide me with a great deal of experiences to help me cope, grieve and progress. But, and this is no fault of theirs, all this effort was sadly not a suitable rival for the unparalleled numbness the unavoidable obviousness of the void my lover's absence created. I certainly collected memories I will cherish for eternity on end but my hopeful intent of relaxing away my anxieties and coming to grips with some internal demons was not realized. I did return with an incredibly valuable revelation, however. I understand more fully and unmistakably that Omaha is my home. I came out here to build one and now I see that I accomplished just that. At this point it looks and feels a far cry from what I thought I set out to establish but it is here and it is sound.

In an almost identical manner to the way Aron Ralston gingerly/greedily sucked water from his nalgene while he was lodged in the crevice with his boulder I am lapping up the times I am sharing with my friends. They are affording me such life giving moments that feel so perpetually sustaining. When I leave their presence I no longer feel so parched or chapped. When I depart I know I can last until the next time I get a chance to take in great gulps or even shallow slurps of this incredible cloud of friends I have been granted. Luckily I have more than a 150 ml supply of friendship beverage unlike Mr. Franco/Ralston.